by Kim Avery
I confess. I bought two boxes of Thin Mints today. I don’t know if you know this but just in case you never read the back of the box, Thin Mints don’t make you thin. This creates quite a predicament for me because I really like thin and I really like Thin Mints.
Normally, I solve this problem by stoically bracing myself against the yearly onslaught of green-jumpered girls conspiring to make me fat. “Would you like to…” they sweetly begin. “NO,” I scream practically slamming the door in their faces. Perhaps it doesn’t win me the neighbor of the year award, but the Bible says to resist the Girl Scout devil and he will flee from you. And it seems to work.
Until today. I was leaving the grocery store hungry, and you know we’re never supposed to shop hungry, and there they were. Innocently sitting on an old card table just outside the store sat Samoas, Tagalongs, Shortbread Cookies, and the irresistible Thin Mints.
No problem. I turned my back to the smiling faces offering their deadly wares and pushed my vegetable laden cart to the car.
After I filled my trunk, unable to resist, wanting to be helpful, I made a careful decision to walk my cart all the way back into the store instead of just leaving it in the cart rack. After all, I really needed to look at those cookies one more time exercise. I parked the cart and turned to head back to the car. Well, what to my wondering eyes should appear but those same little girls desperately trying to make me fat raise money for a worthy cause.
What is a good Christian to do? Feeling obsessed charitable, I stopped to inquire as to whether perchance they had a box of Thin Mints left in stock. It never hurts to ask. They did have a box. So, I bought two. Two.
Hmmm, I needed a plan. After a bit of pondering, I knew just what to do. If I paced myself and only ate two cookies a day, they would last for months and I could work off the extra calories at the gym. Great idea.
Feeling better, I went home, unpacked the groceries, popped open the Diet Coke (after all, I am on a diet!) and sat down. I thought about putting my two cookies on a china plate to commemorate this momentous occasion. But wanting to leave all my options open be efficient, I brought the whole box to the couch.
One half a box later, A few bites later, I am sitting here in a Thin Mint stupor. I’d forgotten how good these cookies are. Too full to move, I just thought I would jot you a note to tell you how awful giving I had been and to ask, what have you done to help out your local Girl Scout today?
Tags: *Kim Avery, confess, Girl Scout cookies
Oh, Kim, that would have been very funny if it weren’t so ME! I’m a master at deceiving myself with those altruistic rationalizations. And then… BINGe-O!
Kim – that was great – laughed through the whole thing! As I have just had a breakfast of champions – a light grande caramel frap w/ whipped cream – and 2 slices of light cheese (because I needed the protein to balance the sugar!
I think I hit all the food groups though – sugar, caffeine! send you the latest health news article on adrenal fatigue & best eating options!
Laughed til I cried. Kim you are hysterically funny! Thanks for sharing. (I especially enjoyed the crossed through thoughts.) I think you should submit this to the Girl Scouts of America for their newsletter. They’d love it.
Yep, you have me pegged to a T ! (T is for thin mints)
I did the exact same thing with Tagalongs the other day. Those things are so yummy and you can’t eat just a few. I am thankful that Girl Scouts reduced how many cookies are in each package!
Just even reading this post and looking at these ‘tempting’ pictures has got this girlie all out of whack…yikes!
Oh my, you all are starting to make me feel all better in spite of my ‘lapse’ i.e. generous nature.
Keep those good thoughts coming…
Kim
I’m not a woman, but i really got a kick out of this post Kim. You really have a knack for witty humor. God bless.
Hilarious!! I did the same thing the second I got my girl scout thin mints!! Do I get an excuse since I’m pregnant?
I have been browsing the internet, looking for something funny. I needed a belly laugh, you provided it! What a great and all too true story.