by Melody Jo Hamor
As for me, it matters very little
how I might be evaluated by you
or by any human authority.
I don’t even trust my own judgment on this point.
My conscience is clear, but that doesn’t prove I’m right.
It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide.
1 Corinthians 4:3-4 (NLT)
There are many forms of judgment: the holy and just judgment of God, the ugly, misguided judgments we make about others, and then there’s a third type of judgment – the kind that is, in my opinion, the sneakiest of all – self judgment. When we decide that we are better than others, we immediately set ourselves up for extreme pride, and God will make sure that we take a huge, stumbling fall from our self appointed peak. (See Proverbs 16:18). But what about when we decide that we are worse than all others?
As I’ve said many times, in many ways, I’m really hard on myself. In fact, that’s one of the first things I needed to write about when I started my blog, Hooking Stitches. I knew well that I needed to acknowledge my unhealthy habit of focusing on what’s wrong with me rather than on what’s right with God. Since then, I’ve made it a daily practice to call myself out on stuff, but to immediately seek relief, rescue, and rest for my concerns in the one place I know that there’s trustworthy answers: the Word of God. Today is no different.
In 1 Corinthians, Paul wrote about this very topic in a way that practically jumps off the page and smacks me in the forehead like an old V-8 commercial! According to the New Living Translation, Paul said, “I don’t even trust my own judgment…” In the NIV, that same verse reads, “I do not even judge myself.” And the Amplified Bible translates it like this: “I do not even put myself on trial and judge myself.”
When I let loose on my self defeating thoughts and self degrading words, I’m doing exactly what Paul warns us not to do: I’m passing judgment on myself. This type of thinking leads to only one outcome: choices and actions to match. If we focus on “I’m no good,” “I’m not worth the trouble,” and “I’ll never change,” guess what will happen? No good, no success, and no change. We MUST leave the judgment up to God. And here’s the kicker…are you ready to have your socks knocked clean off your toes? John 3:18 (NLT) There is no judgment against anyone who believes in Him.
So what about those times when you’re studying God’s Word and you see your true nature, when you see your deepest sins reflected bac
k at you? This happens to me all the time. The Bible is like a mirror. In it I see the One true God and my true self. At first, I have to admit it was almost terrifying. I was shocked by how much I was lacking and how much I needed to change. But as I continued to read and study, I saw that God’s goodness overshadowed my wrongs; that God’s grace washed away every single drop of my shortcomings.
I believe those times of study are when we grow the most. I believe those are the times when God is trying to show us the way to go; the way to turn. And most importantly, I believe those are the times of study when our faith is most challenged. Why? Because it’s then that we are being asked to trust that His promises are true. He came to this world in flesh and He chose to take the path of our Savior. He promises to wash away every single thing you did wrong, do wrong today, and will do wrong tomorrow. He did it for you and He did it for me.
Don’t be afraid to acknowledge your sin, but never let your focus settle there. God is so much greater than our wrongs. Nothing is too damaged for Him to repair. Nothing is too far gone for Him to pull back. Nothing is too hurt for Him to mend.
Thank You, Lord, for Paul’s example of non-judgment. Please guide my thoughts, words, and actions so that my greatest focus is on You. Teach me to take notice of, acknowledge, and name my wrongs, then guide me to hand them all over to You to make them right again. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
