The Emotional You

Let’s zoom in to see what exactly is going on in our brains as we move through these phases of change. To begin, let me introduce two different parts of your brain and the functions they serve. Don’t worry. This won’t get too technical, and it will really help you understand and create the lasting change you want.

The first part of the brain we want to consider is the prefrontal cortex. This small region of the brain helps you plan, set goals, solve problems, think creatively, control your impulses and more. The all-important prefrontal cortex also contains your working memory and is used for learning new activities. It’s essential, but it is also an energy hog, fatigues easily and can only think about a very limited number of elements at any one time.

The Rational You

Another part of the brain that plays a big part in change is a set of structures known as the basal ganglia. They function beneath your conscious awareness and control any habitual, routine activity.  Unlike the prefrontal cortex the basal ganglia are highly energy efficient and run almost on autopilot.

Thus, anytime you begin learning a new skill, processing new information or changing a long-term habit the activity is all taking place in the prefrontal cortex. This requires a lot of attention, focus and energy, thus your brain power will be limited for other activities. You’ll have to concentrate and think about what you are doing each and every time. Change is hard work.

However, as you continue practicing your new behaviors, with each repitition, you are strengthening your new thought or action and getting closer to establishing a new habit. Once it becomes familiar, the new routine will be controlled by the basal ganglia and it will become an almost effortless part of your routine.

Take Every Thought Captive

The key point to remember is that with every single thought and action you are either strengthening your old habit or actively building the new.

This is why change is easy, because it can’t and shouldn’t be dealt with as a huge, multi-faceted, complex thing. It is a simple, moment by moment, decision taken one day at a time.

Robert Pagilarini has successfully used and taught others these facts with what he calls the One Day, One Week, One Month Strategy.

One Day – Whether it’s an entire book you want to write or 50 pounds you want to lose, there is no need to get discouraged or overwhelmed. The only thing you need to focus on is one day. Today. That’s it. You can stick with your diet for one day, can’t you? Sure. You’ve done it before. That’s all this change requires. Just one day.

One Week – Once you conquer that first day, all you need to do is make it one more day. For six simple days. You can do that for one week. You can do anything for one week.  How do you know? Because you’ve already demonstrated that you can by making it for one day.

One Month – Now you’ve entered that uncomfortable conscious incompetence zone. The change seems harder and more painful than you thought it would be. It’s tempting to settle for mediocrity and incompetence. But you’ve already made it through a whole week.  You’ve built new neural pathways, and your brain is one week closer to habituating your new behavior.  Soon you will be able to execute it with nary a thought. It is worth it, and you can at least hang in there for one short month.

And on it goes.

If perchance you slip up and blow your plan, that’s okay, because tomorrow morning all you need to do is to wake up and concentrate on getting through that one day.

Change is easy (or at least easier), when you take it one day at a time knowing that it really will get easier as you move down the competence road.

Let us not lose heart in doing good,
for in due time we will reap
if we do not grow weary.
Galatians 6:9

A favorite author of mine, Brennan Manning, has the incredible gift of describing Jesus in raw, unexpected, and totally heart captivating ways. On this Good Friday of Holy Week, I would like to share with you, in Brennan’s own words, his experience of the incomparable Christ.

“In the winter of 1968, I lived in a cave in the mountains of the Zaragosta Desert in Spain. For seven months I saw no one, never heard the sound of a human voice…”

“On the night of December 13^th, during what began as a long and lonely hour of prayer, I heard in faith Jesus Christ say, “For love of you I left my Father’s side. I came to you who ran from me, fled me, who did not want to hear my name. For love of you I was covered with spit, punched, beaten, and affixed to the wood of the cross.”

“These words are burned on my life. Whether I am in a state of grace or disgrace, elation or depression, that night of fire quietly burns on. I looked at the crucifix for a long time, figuratively saw the blood streaming from every pore of his body, and heard the cry of his wounds: ‘This isn’t a joke. It is not a laughing matter to me that I have loved you.’ The longer I looked, the more I realized that no man has ever loved me and no one ever could love me as he did. I went out of the cave, stood on the precipice, and shouted into the darkness, ‘Jesus, are you crazy? Are you out of your mind to have loved me so much?’”

“This is the only God who counts. Christ on the cross is not a mere theological precondition for salvation. He is God’s enduring Word to the world saying, ‘See how much I love you.’”

My heart bows in thanks to the God whose sacred stain soaked deep enough to save this soul.

How could He love me so much?

What truths is God laying on your heart this Easter? I hope you’ll share in the comment box below.

Perhaps you, like so many others, have set various New Year’s resolutions over the years that have never made it past January 15^th.  You picked an area of your life where you wanted to see real change, prepared yourself and your environment, enlisted your friend’s help and enthusiastically jumped into your new routine.

But somewhere between January 1^st and January 16^th something happened. You got distracted by other things, discouraged by the difficulty or disappointed in yourself because your motivation didn’t seem to last.

Change is hard. In fact, 75% of people who make a New Year’s resolution fail on their first attempt.

Organizational Psychologist William Howell developed the Four Phases of Learning model to us better understand what is going on.

Four Phases of Learning

Phase I – Unconscious Incompetence: At this phase, we don’t know what we don’t know. We are incompetent but don’t even know or care. For example, most Americans are extremely incompetent the first time they travel to Europe and have to drive on the left-hand side of the road. This may be true of you, but I’ll bet if it is you still went to sleep last night blissfully unconcerned.

Phase II – Conscious Incompetence: Here you try a new skill and fail. You suddenly realize what you didn’t know or can’t do. Imagine being teleported to Italy, given a brand new Porsche and being forced to drive downtown through rush hour traffic. It wouldn’t be pretty, would it?

Phase III – Conscious Competence: At last, in this phase you manage to execute your new skill. It takes time and a lot of focus, mistakes may be made, but with concentration you can pull it off. This would be similar to being allowed to drive your brand new Porsche through Italy on empty back roads at your own speed. It would be hard at first, but you could do it.

Phase IV – Unconscious Competence: Your new skill or habit now comes naturally, almost without thought. You no longer need to use your conscious mind to focus on it. This happens after you’ve been living in Italy for six months and without a thought daily jump into that beautiful car to head fearlessly downtown.

When you look at this model notice there are two phases when you feel really good. Obviously you feel great in Phase IV, once you have mastered your new skill.  And you also felt great in Phase I before you ever cared about or initiated a change.

When Change Gets Hard

But in Phase II, ‘conscious incompetence,’ when you were just beginning to focus, rewire and retrain your brain, you actually felt worse than before you started.

It’s no wonder people are tempted to quit right at the beginning of any new change.

Knowing about the phases of change and what to expect can radically increase your staying power during a season of change. No wonder Scripture says,

Galatians 6:9 (The Message)  So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit.

Change is hard. But change is also easy, and you’ll see why when next time we get together.

You’re right. You can’t do it all!  You weren’t meant to.

Romans 12:6 says that, In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well (NLT).

Play to Your Strengths

Over a decade ago, Gallup unveiled the results of a landmark 30-year research project that has since ignited a global conversation on the topic of strengths.

The first discovery they made was that every person has been born with a cluster of signature strengths that endure over time and a variety of situations.

Don’t Focus On Weakness

But they also discovered that most organizations, and dare I add most people, spend their lives focusing not on these strengths but instead on their weaknesses. Companies point them out, ruminate about them, and try to remediate them.

Yet in spite of all these efforts, these weakness-focused corporations continue to slog along in mediocrity.

And while it may seem logical to spend time and energy working on improving our weak areas, in reality, it’s like a baseball team taking their star pitcher and using all his practice time trying to improve his hitting.  Not time well spent!

Constantly trying to shore up your weaknesses takes away precious time and energy from the things you do phenomenally well.

Gallop’s research shows that when we try a different approach, we get different results.

The Secret to Success

And 20% of the organizations studied were doing just that, concentrating on helping people discover and work in the areas where they were strongest.

Their motto? Maximize strengths, and as much as possible, delegate weaknesses.  And these organizations weren’t just successful, they were wildly successful.

To set yourself up for success using your strengths you only need to do two things:

1.  Discover and work in strength and gift based areas

2.  Say ‘no’ to good things so you can say ‘yes’ to the best things

You can find out more about discovering and using your God-given strengths at www.strengthsfinder.com or just ask those who know and love you what they think you do best.

Whatever you discover, remember that powerful living comes from building on your strengths.

You can dramatically reduce your anxiety, increase your performance and blaze a path to success all while sitting in your favorite LazyBoy Recliner.

How? The same way that Olympic athletes, race car drivers, jet pilots, and parachutists do – envisioning the future.

Visioning God’s Way

Proverbs 29:18 says, Where there is no vision, the people perish. And it just makes sense. Andy Stanley put it this way:

“A clear vision, along with the courage to follow through, dramatically increases your chances of coming to the end of your life, looking back with a deep abiding satisfaction, and thinking, I did it. I succeeded. I finished well. My life counted.”

And we all want that.

How God Created Your Brain to Change

Science now documents why visioning is so powerful.

If you were to peek inside your brain during any activity, you would see that the brain pathways being used, whether hitting a golf ball or going through a job interview, are the same pathways used when you merely envision that event.

Both activities, visioning the activity and doing it, activate the visual cortex – the part of the brain that sees.

Brain science shows us that anytime you use a particular brain circuit you strengthen that circuit. So, detailed visioning of the future prepares your mental circuits in ways similar to the activity itself.

Three Powerful Activities

To use this powerful brain tool effectively remember these three things:

1. Visualize it positively. Every time you envision the future – good or bad – you are strengthening the path you just pictured.
2. Visualize it precisely. The more detailed and realistic the visualization, the more connections are created in your brain.
3. Visualize often. Visioning the future is most effective when it is done for brief periods stretched over time.

Has God planted a goal or dream in your heart? You really can start to build new neural pathways toward your future goals while still sitting in your chair.

Sit back, close your eyes and start moving closer to your dreams today.