I confess. I bought two boxes of Thin Mints today. I don’t know if you know this but just in case you never read the back of the box, Thin Mints don’t make you thin. This creates quite a predicament for me because I really like thin and I really like Thin Mints.

Normally, I solve this problem by stoically bracing myself against the yearly onslaught of green-jumpered girls conspiring to make me fat. “Would you like to…” they sweetly begin. “NO,” I scream practically slamming the door in their faces. Perhaps it doesn’t win me the neighbor of the year award, but the Bible says to resist the Girl Scout devil and he will flee from you. And it seems to work.

Until today. I was leaving the grocery store hungry, and you know we’re never supposed to shop hungry, and there they were. Innocently sitting on an old card table just outside the store sat Samoas, Tagalongs, Shortbread Cookies, and the irresistible Thin Mints.

No problem. I turned my back to the smiling faces offering their deadly wares and pushed my vegetable laden cart to the car.

After I filled my trunk, unable to resist, wanting to be helpful,  I made a careful decision to walk my cart all the way back into the store instead of just leaving it in the cart rack. After all, I really needed to look at those cookies one more time exercise. I parked the cart and turned to head back to the car. Well, what to my wondering eyes should appear but those same little girls desperately trying to make me fat raise money for a worthy cause.

What is a good Christian to do? Feeling obsessed charitable, I stopped to inquire as to whether perchance they had a box of Thin Mints left in stock. It never hurts to ask.  They did have a box.  So, I bought two. Two.

Hmmm, I needed a plan. After a bit of pondering, I knew just what to do. If I paced myself and only ate two cookies a day, they would last for months and I could work off the extra calories at the gym.  Great idea.

Feeling better, I went home, unpacked the groceries, popped open the Diet Coke (after all, I am on a diet!) and sat down. I thought about putting my two cookies on a china plate to commemorate this momentous occasion. But wanting to leave all my options open be efficient, I brought the whole box to the couch.

One half a box later, A few bites later, I am sitting here in a Thin Mint stupor. I’d forgotten how good these cookies are. Too full to move, I just thought I would jot you a note to tell you how awful giving I had been and to ask, what have you done to help out your local Girl Scout today?

“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” Though not necessarily found directly within Scripture, this phrase is deeply profound and contains the key to freedom and a happy marriage.

Ever wish you could redo parts of your life? If I could redo parts of mine, I would err on the side of grace, extending forgiveness even when it wasn’t sought, loving with purity even when it wasn’t returned. I would simply not hold on to offenses—often easier said than done; yet as I look back on the seasons of my life I regret not forgiving more quickly. Forgiveness is a choice and is a mandate for marriage—but all too often we fail to realize our own shortcomings until it’s too late.

Satan is especially crafty with bitterness—its very core is manipulative and destructive. Unfortunately, bitterness often occurs as a result of the intentional harm inflicted by another person. The deception of bitterness is that in some way we maintain the upper hand by remembering or holding on to an offense—what a lie.

Despite our natural inclination to hold on to offenses, God commands us to forgive as He has forgiven. Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

But…forgiveness can be tough. So, you may be asking, “How? How do you rid yourself of bitterness, and freely forgive?” Allow me to share five steps to help you in the process:

1.  Submit your pain to God. Sometimes our pain is expressed in stages. The severity of the wound often determines the length of the healing process—don’t give up. God is near and ready to help remove your pain.

2.  Confess any hatred or anger you may be harboring.  Address your issues head on. Express your emotions to God in simple sentences and ask for help and the ability to forgive. Vocalize forgiveness out loud. It’s good to hear yourself say it. “I forgive…for… I choose to remember this offense no longer.”

3.  Remember God is your defender. He is faithful to protect you. Don’t take vengeance into your own hands. God will protect you so much better than you can. Ask for Him to intervene on your behalf. And to help you to not hold on to offenses.

4.  Recognize you can’t control another person’s actions. Each of us will give an account for our own actions, not one another’s. Submit your life to the principles of God’s Word and allow Him to convict your offender. Read passages on the mercy of God to help renew your mind and fight the battle that wages war against your emotions.

5.  Finally, freedom starts with a choice to forgive and release bitterness. We can’t change our past, but we need NOT be a victim to it. If we harbor bitterness it only destroys us; it ties unites our lives with our offender, and rips at our soul. So, even if you don’t feel like forgiving you can begin with Lord I’m willing to be willing. Be honest with God and ask for Him to help.

Forgiveness and releasing bitterness isn’t easy…but it is liberating. Forgiveness is essential in marriage because no matter how great your partner is or isn’t, they aren’t perfect. And true love keeps no record of wrongs:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NIV

Father, fill us with the grace to forgive, and to love as you love us.

“I will arise and go to Jesus. He will embrace me in His arms.  And in the arms of my dear Savior, there are ten thousand charms. Ten thousand charms.”

More reasons why I love Jesus…

#21 His grace lasts a lifetime

#22 His ways are wondrous

#23 His love is immense

#24 He walked where I now walk

#25 He is always in control (even when I think I should be)

Why do you love Jesus today? Join me in counting His charms by jotting your thoughts in the comment box below or blogging your own list – find out more here.

“And behold, one came up to him, saying, “Teacher, what good deed must I do, to have eternal life?” Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful; for he had great possessions” (Matthew 19:16, 21-22 NRSV)

I don’t think Jesus was literally telling this man to give away all his possessions and become homeless. The point Jesus was trying to make is that we must place Him and His word above all other things in our lives. Money won’t buy us a place at the banquet table in heaven. It can certainly buy us plenty of wonderful things. But the worry and stress of excessive debt can interfere with our ability to live abundantly in Christ!

Jesus assures the young man in this passage [and us] that nothing on earth can buy him what he sought after the most. The young man asked Jesus what he lacked. Jesus gave him an answer that was pretty hard to hear. In essence, Jesus tells us that to live the life God has planned, we must place Jesus above anything else: above a new sofa, above a redecorated home, even above that amazing pair of shoes that have been calling your name. Spending money to buy things we can’t afford means we’re placing more value on “things” than we should.

Before we can be truly debt-free we need to free ourselves of all the stuff that is complicating our lives; all the stuff we didn’t need in the first place! Then we need to get rid of the debt that is keeping us from enjoying our life! A friend suggested selling our excess items (shoes, books, clothes, and other “stuff”) on e-bay, at a yard sale, on craigslist, or on consignment. Then use the money from selling all that stuff and apply it towards credit card balances. Cut back in other areas of your life for the time being, to get the burden of debt out of your life!

Pay as much as you can on the first card and pay the minimum balance due on each of your other cards. Then once you pay off the lowest balance card ($700 here), pay the minimum due on the Card #2 PLUS the payment you made on Card #1. So your payment on Card #2 ($35 in the example here) will become $49 ($14.00 + $35.00), etc.

Jesus wants to be the most important thing in our lives! He wants us to want only Him! He offers us treasure in heaven. Let’s face it: those ‘to die for’ shoes will wear out one day! Once the debt is gone, develop a habit of paying cash or only charging what you know you can pay off at the end of each month. Free of the burden of debt, we can begin to fully live abundantly in Christ—the ultimate fulfillment of all our needs.

“I can do it all by myself.” When my children were two years old, this was a common cry, along with:  “Let me do it.” “It’s my turn.” “Don’t help me. I’m big now.” Their message came across very loud and very clear. Independence, strength, and ability were good. Weakness was bad.

Flash forward a few decades and I find these same words now coming from my mouth (or at least my heart.) “I can handle this.” “No problem, I’ve got it all under control.” “Sure, I can do that.” The message? Kim likes to be independent. Kim values being strong. Kim takes great pride in her abilities.

Kim is wrong! (My husband may just print that phrase out and frame it!)

If you know anything about my week last week, (see The Letter Bomb), you know that the circumstances of my life had once again stripped off my confident veneer and exposed the raw, unattractive neediness lurking beneath. When cancer strikes a friend – I can’t fix it. I can’t push rewind on time and undo things I wish I hadn’t done. And I can’t make the world obey my will. I want to. But I can’t.

All this weakness led me to the conclusion that last week was a very bad week. Until.

Until God graciously reminded me that…

It’s not up to me, but Him

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” (II Corinthians 12:9)

I am to be still and wait

Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. (Exodus 14:13a,14)

He will come – He will rescue

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord rescues them from them all. (Psalm 34:17-19)

Once again, I will soar

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31)

Wow.

I forgot that God’s call to me is not to be competent, accomplished, polished, and strong. Instead, God wants me to despair over myself, embrace my weakness, and then run to Him to meet all my needs. “When I am weak, then I am strong.”

I guess last week wasn’t so bad after all. What a blessed relief to loudly say, “I can’t do it but He can.”