Posts Tagged ‘*Kim Avery’

Prioritizing Priorities

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,
and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

Dale Carnegie tells the story of two men who spent the day chopping wood.

The Worried Woodcutter worked hard all day long. He chopped non-stop without even taking a break for lunch. He ended the day exhausted and crabby but with a nice size pile of wood. As he stumbled home, he passed the woodpile of the Wise Woodcutter.

Shocked and angry at what he saw, he sputtered “I worked all day long with nary a break, while you took two breaks, spent time just sitting around and even took a short nap during lunch.” “Why is your wood pile so much larger than mine?”

The Wise Woodcutter

“Ah,” replied the Wise Woodcutter, “did you notice what I was doing while I was sitting down?”

“I was sharpening my ax.”

Most of us attack our days the same way the Worried Woodcutter swung at his trees. We get to the office early, dive into our work with gusto, work all day long, and end the day dragging and drained.

Short-Term Payoff ~ Long-Term Disaster

The worst part is that our brains continually reward us all through the day for our short-sightedness and poor planning. Consider the fact that our brain can only hold 4-7 items in its short-term memory at any one point in time. So, when your brain sees all the unfinished tasks that need finishing, the emails that need answering and the people demanding your time, your stress level rises and you leap in to try to minimize the load.

Each time you check one more item off the list, your brain breathes a sigh of relief that there is one less thing to keep track of. It seems like a good plan.

But, like the Wise Woodcutter, we would be much better off in the long run if we took time to sharpen the saw.

Unlike the simple action of checking things off a list or deleting irrelevant email, planning and prioritizing your day takes a lot of brain power. In fact, it is one of the most resource intensive activities your brain will do all day.

But it’s also the most powerful.

Which Woodcutter Are You?

Research shows that for every 1 minute you spend in planning, you will gain 10 in execution. 1 minute = 10 minutes. 15 minutes = 2 hour and 30 minutes! This may seem too good to be true but give it a try. If you gain even 45 minutes a day by beginning your day with planning and prioritizing, you will gain almost 12 days a year.

Do you want to increase your effectiveness and productivity? Tackle not just the urgent things but the truly important. Dedicate the first fifteen minutes of every day to short and long-range planning and prioritizing.

Who knows? Like the Wise Woodcutter you may even have time for a short nap.


Change is easy. Change is Hard. Part 2

In Part I of Change is Easy. Change is Hard. you were introduced to the Four Phases of Learning model which helps explain why change so difficult. Moving from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence, or using our metaphor, going from not even knowing that Europeans drive differently than we do to learning how to drive on the left-hand side of the road without conscious thought, takes longer and is more uncomfortable than one would wish.

The Emotional You

Let’s zoom in to see what exactly is going on in our brains as we move through these phases of change. To begin, let me introduce two different parts of your brain and the functions they serve. Don’t worry. This won’t get too technical, and it will really help you understand and create the lasting change you want.

The first part of the brain we want to consider is the prefrontal cortex. This small region of the brain helps you plan, set goals, solve problems, think creatively, control your impulses and more. The all-important prefrontal cortex also contains your working memory and is used for learning new activities. It’s essential, but it is also an energy hog, fatigues easily and can only think about a very limited number of elements at any one time.

The Rational You

Another part of the brain that plays a big part in change is a set of structures known as the basal ganglia. They function beneath your conscious awareness and control any habitual, routine activity. Unlike the prefrontal cortex the basal ganglia are highly energy efficient and run almost on autopilot.

Thus, anytime you begin learning a new skill, processing new information or changing a long-term habit the activity is all taking place in the prefrontal cortex. This requires a lot of attention, focus and energy, thus your brain power will be limited for other activities. You’ll have to concentrate and think about what you are doing each and every time. Change is hard work.

However, as you continue practicing your new behaviors, with each repitition, you are strengthening your new thought or action and getting closer to establishing a new habit. Once it becomes familiar, the new routine will be controlled by the basal ganglia and it will become an almost effortless part of your routine.

Take Every Thought Captive

The key point to remember is that with every single thought and action you are either strengthening your old habit or actively building the new.

This is why change is easy, because it can’t and shouldn’t be dealt with as a huge, multi-faceted, complex thing. It is a simple, moment by moment, decision taken one day at a time.

Robert Pagilarini has successfully used and taught others these facts with what he calls the One Day, One Week, One Month Strategy.

One Day – Whether it’s an entire book you want to write or 50 pounds you want to lose, there is no need to get discouraged or overwhelmed. The only thing you need to focus on is one day. Today. That’s it. You can stick with your diet for one day, can’t you? Sure. You’ve done it before. That’s all this change requires. Just one day.

One Week – Once you conquer that first day, all you need to do is make it one more day. For six simple days. You can do that for one week. You can do anything for one week. How do you know? Because you’ve already demonstrated that you can by making it for one day.

One Month – Now you’ve entered that uncomfortable conscious incompetence zone. The change seems harder and more painful than you thought it would be. It’s tempting to settle for mediocrity and incompetence. But you’ve already made it through a whole week. You’ve built new neural pathways, and your brain is one week closer to habituating your new behavior. Soon you will be able to execute it with nary a thought. It is worth it, and you can at least hang in there for one short month.

And on it goes.

If perchance you slip up and blow your plan, that’s okay, because tomorrow morning all you need to do is to wake up and concentrate on getting through that one day.

Change is easy (or at least easier), when you take it one day at a time knowing that it really will get easier as you move down the competence road.

Let us not lose heart in doing good,
for in due time we will reap
if we do not grow weary.

Galatians 6:9


Change is Easy. Change is Hard. Part I

Let’s start with the bad news. Change is hard. Whether it’s change you have initiated yourself or a change that has been thrust upon you, it’s still hard.

Perhaps you, like so many others, have set various New Year’s resolutions over the years that have never made it past January 15th. You picked an area of your life where you wanted to see real change, prepared yourself and your environment, enlisted your friend’s help and enthusiastically jumped into your new routine.

But somewhere between January 1st and January 16th something happened. You got distracted by other things, discouraged by the difficulty or disappointed in yourself because your motivation didn’t seem to last.

Change is hard. In fact, 75% of people who make a New Year’s resolution fail on their first attempt.

Organizational Psychologist William Howell developed the Four Phases of Learning model to us better understand what is going on.

Four Phases of Learning

Phase I – Unconscious Incompetence: At this phase, we don’t know what we don’t know. We are incompetent but don’t even know or care. For example, most Americans are extremely incompetent the first time they travel to Europe and have to drive on the left-hand side of the road. This may be true of you, but I’ll bet if it is you still went to sleep last night blissfully unconcerned.

Phase II – Conscious Incompetence: Here you try a new skill and fail. You suddenly realize what you didn’t know or can’t do. Imagine being teleported to Italy, given a brand new Porsche and being forced to drive downtown through rush hour traffic. It wouldn’t be pretty, would it?

Phase III – Conscious Competence: At last, in this phase you manage to execute your new skill. It takes time and a lot of focus, mistakes may be made, but with concentration you can pull it off. This would be similar to being allowed to drive your brand new Porsche through Italy on empty back roads at your own speed. It would be hard at first, but you could do it.

Phase IV – Unconscious Competence: Your new skill or habit now comes naturally, almost without thought. You no longer need to use your conscious mind to focus on it. This happens after you’ve been living in Italy for six months and without a thought daily jump into that beautiful car to head fearlessly downtown.

When you look at this model notice there are two phases when you feel really good. Obviously you feel great in Phase IV, once you have mastered your new skill. And you also felt great in Phase I before you ever cared about or initiated a change.

When Change Gets Hard

But in Phase II, ‘conscious incompetence,’ when you were just beginning to focus, rewire and retrain your brain, you actually felt worse than before you started.

It’s no wonder people are tempted to quit right at the beginning of any new change.

Knowing about the phases of change and what to expect can radically increase your staying power during a season of change. No wonder Scripture says,

Galatians 6:9 (The Message) So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit.

Change is hard. But change is also easy, and you’ll see why when next time we get together.


God is Waiting ~ Contagious Love: Wk. 7

The story is told about an old man who was becoming increasingly concerned about his wife’s hearing. He was convinced that she was on the verge of being stone deaf. But no matter what he did, she wouldn’t admit there was a problem.

After months of trying to convince her, he had had enough and decided to prove his point. He entered their living room where his wife was seated, facing the fireplace. From behind her he said in a clear voice, “Honey, I love you. Did you hear that?”

Nothing.

He walked halfway across the room and repeated, “Honey, I said I love you. Do you hear me?”

No response.

Finally he walked over, stood in front of her, and shouted, “I love you. Can you hear me now?”

She looked up from her knitting and replied, “Yes, dear, and for the third time, I love you, too.”

I often act like the husband in that parable. There are times in my life when I’m convinced that God is not talking to me. But in reality, if my relationship with God is distant, I am the one who moved.

We all want to hear from God. To know His will. To feel His love. But like any relationship, growth doesn’t take place automatically. Instead, a deep relationship with God requires an overall approach to life in which we organize our day around staying close to him.

Here are some habits that will help you as you seek God.

1. Make Time. Listening takes time. Relationships can’t be rushed.

2. Minimize Distractions. Minimize any external clutter that distracts you as you talk to God. Give Him your full attention. What could be more important than listening to the author of life?

3. Be Silent. Stop talking and take time to listen.

4. Have a Receptive Heart. Be open to receiving what He has to say, not just His words of tender mercy but also His challenges that will help you grow.

God is not about quick answers and microwave relationships. What He wants is to develop a relationship with you that will be constant, intimate, conversational and transforming.

He is waiting right now. How about you?

Sign up for our Virtual Bible Study, “Contagious Love,” to receive the audio teaching and handout, as well as the homework – or to get more information – Just click the link below:

Click Here for “Contagious Love – A Virtual Bible Study on 1 John”


Is This All There Is? ~ Contagious Love ~ Wk. 7

An engineer was walking through a construction site and stopped a laborer and asked him what he was doing. He said, “I’m moving these boards from this pile to that pile over there.”

A little further on, he saw a saw a mason and asked him what he was doing. The mason replied, “I’m getting ready to pour some concrete.”

Then he came upon a carpenter who was building a frame for the concrete to be poured into, and he asked him the same thing. But the carpenter replied, “I’m building a cathedral where thousands of voices will sing the praises of God.”

The carpenter had a greater vision than the other two workmen. He could see beyond the here and now.

In John 9, we see Jesus and the boys talking about a man born blind. The disciples asked Jesus who had sinned, the man or his parents. Jesus answered that neither of those things caused his blindness, but that it happened so the works of God might be displayed in him.

Perhaps there is something in your life that has you wondering why it happened. Without looking at our circumstances through the lens of what we know about God, it would be easy to despair.

But when we look through the lens of God’s love and His goodness, that He is always for us, that He always has a plan and is faithful, then we can look beyond the here and now, and see that this is not all there is.

The building site did not look at all like a spectacular cathedral, and your life may not look very spectacular, either. But somehow, in ways that we may never understand, all that is happening is working together to bring glory to God.

That doesn’t mean that we should dance a jig in the face of adversity, or refuse to grieve loss, or laugh when people sin against us… But it does mean that as you face every trial in your life, you can walk in the calm assurance of knowing that this is not all there is.

What area of your life needs to be looked at through the “God lens?”

Sign up for our Virtual Bible Study, “Contagious Love,” to receive the audio teaching and handout, as well as the homework – or to get more information – Just click the link below:

Click Here for “Contagious Love – A Virtual Bible Study on 1 John”

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