by Julie Gorman
My husband often asks me, “What’s your dream…what do you feel God’s calling you to?”
While ministering and talking to couples we discovered that the healthiest marriages occur in homes where spouses learn the art of dreaming together. Dreaming together joins hearts, unites ambitions, merges directions, and unifies lives.
So…do you know what your spouse’ dream is? If they could do anything what would it be? What is their passion? What do they enjoy? What is their strength? Have you ever prayed together and listened to what God desires for your individual lives and for your marriage?
As we share during marriage conferences, many couples ask, “How do you dream together?” Here are a few simple steps we answer in reply:
1. Ask your spouse questions periodically revisiting your dreams: “Do you remember what we thought our lives would look like?” “What do you think God wants for our lives?” “How can we move toward His calling together?” “If given the opportunity what do you want to accomplish before you die?”
2. Believe with them. Tell them they can do anything they put their mind too. One of the greatest gifts we can offer our spouses is empowering them with our words. Encourage them to become the very best they can. Examine your heart. Do you inspire your spouse’s dreams? Do you really believe with them?
3. Dare to dream. Believe for the impossible. Choose to be optimistic. Before I learned this concept, I felt the need to exploit all the possible holes in Greg’s plans, devising a no risk option to his dreams. Now, instead of telling him all the possibilities for failure I say, “Wow baby, if anyone can do it you can. So, go for it—you can do it!”
4. Offer verbal support. Try saying, “You have my full support.” Ask, “How can I help?” “What do you need from me to ensure the success of this dream?” Encourage your spouse. Tell them that you stand with them. Empower your spouse to reach their highest potential. Encourage them with your belief in their abilities. Occasionally your spouse might make a decision that you’re not in agreement with; let your first response be affirming. Follow your affirmation with thought provoking questions. Discover how thoroughly your spouse weighed their decision. Share your concerns and ask to pray together for discernment.
5. Which brings us to our final step: pray together and encourage one another with Scripture. I challenge you to dream together; you’ll be amazed at the results.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 states, “One person could be overpowered. But two people can stand up for themselves. And a rope made out of three cords isn’t easily broken.”
