by Julie Gorman
“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.”
Psalm 55:22, NIV
I am so excited to share on Marriage Mondays…but before we begin, I have to make this disclaimer: I don’t have all the answers. (However, I do know The One Who does.)
My hope is to share practical steps that assist you develop a stronger, more intimate marriage. So, let’s get started.
The truth is “The key to having an incredible marriage hinges on one key element…our complete surrender to God; a surrender that’s not reliant on ability or reasoning or even in putting faith in ourselves or our spouse, but a surrender putting our hope and faith in God alone.” (Excerpt from, What I Wish My Mother had Told Me about Marriage)
So, step one to having an incredible marriage is “Surrender”.
The first couple years of my marriage were exhausting. Greg and I fought all the time. It didn’t matter the topic, somehow we’d end up arguing. One cold dreary night our fight escalated; Greg left, peeling out of the driveway, announcing, “I’m done with all of this.” As I lay crying across our bedroom floor, I whispered, “God please save my marriage.”
And, God did, by encouraging me to surrender my marriage to Him.
You see, I often busied myself with correcting all of Greg’s flaws; instead, God wanted me to focus on surrendering my agenda for His, on surrendering my rights and serve, on loving unconditionally as God loved me.
So what does marriage have to do with surrender?
Quite simply, some of you are tired of the same issues that always rear their ugly heads. You’ve tried steps one, two…three hundred into place, yet nothing seems to change. Don’t give up. Keep doing the right steps, but exercise them from a position of surrender and dependence.
Surrender to God; cry out for His help. Carrying the weight of having to do everything “right” is exhausting. But, like anything in life, as we surrender to God, He lightens the load. He gives us wisdom in our decision making. He fills us with hope and performs the impossible.
Here’s how we practice surrender:
- We surrender to God by saying, “I give up. I need your help. Give me wisdom. Make my marriage fun and fill it with life.”
- When confrontations arise, we stop from giving our first knee jerk response and ask God how we should respond.
- We stop playing “the Holy Spirit” with our spouse and ask God to change us (with what we need to change) and to change our spouse (with what they need to change).
- We serve as unto the Lord. We can’t change another person, but we can control our responses. We can submit our needs to God, and honor Him with our obedience. People don’t always deserve our love, but God does. And when we serve and love as unto the Lord, God moves mountains and gives us His favor.
I encourage you; don’t give up on your marriage, just give it over.
“Let us not become weary in doing good,
for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people,
especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”
Galatians 6:8-10, NIV
(For a closer look at Surrender in Marriage, visit: http://www.hisloveextendedministries.com/his_love_extended_009.htm)
Tags: Christian women, Marriage, Surrender
