No one likes to admit weakness. It’s embarrassing to admit defeat, and dirty laundry was meant to be kept at home.
But I did it anyway. Yesterday, with great fear and trepidation, I confessed my weaknesses, discussed my defeats and aired my dirty laundry for all the world to see. Okay, maybe not all the world, but I did open up to a select few about my junk food addiction and its subsequent sugar high.
Accountability
In Chapter 4 of “Made to Crave,” Lysa extols the virtues of accountability, the absolute necessity of taking this healthy eating journey with at least one faithful friend. It’s a great idea, but as I read it 1,000 excuses of why it’s not for me rushed into my mind.
“I don’t need that. I can go it alone. I wouldn’t want to ‘bother’ my friends. How embarrassing. What will others think? Who would be willing to go to all that work for me? If I do that, I’ll actually have to follow through with what I said I’m going to do.” And on and on and on.
Yep. There are tons of reasons to avoid accountability.
There is only 1 good reason why I should go for accountability. Only 1.
Accountability Works
It works!
- 25% of all people who set a goal achieve it.
- 50% of people who set a goal that includes a time frame and a plan achieve it.
- 95% of those who create a plan and commit to a specific accountability appointment with an outside advisor achieve their goal.
95%. And with numbers like that the question isn’t really do I want to invite accountability into my life but am I serious about my commitment to obey God?
Hence, the true confession I mentioned above.
God Provides Opportunity
It happened late yesterday afternoon when my once a week Discipleship Group came to my house. We spend a wonderful hour discussing our study, Sacred Rhythms. We talked about the beauty of silence and solitude and of spending more time listening to God.
Needless to say, there was nothing in that lesson about food.
Excuses Multiply
So, when the time for prayer requests came closer, my silent rationalizations for not sharing my struggle and asking for prayer increased. A sweat broke out on my brow. “How mortifying. These precious ladies have no idea how bad my eating has really gotten. What ever will they think?”
Jesus Is Worth It
How badly do I really want to obey? Is it worth even this? Yes, I want more of Jesus than I want of anything.
I shared.
No one laughed, scoffed, ridiculed me or put me down. Deep inside, I knew they wouldn’t. They are wonderful friends. And they did just what I needed them to do. They prayed for me. They prayed with me. And I know those prayers will continue.
I am blessed.
Jump Right In
To increase accountability and encourage others PLEASE take a minute to comment below: introduce yourself, share your successes or struggles, add your food list or simply say ‘hi.’
The journey to change will be more successful if you walk it with others.
What About You?
How are you planning to invite more accountability into this journey? Whose name is God bringing to your mind?
Please join our discussion and
leave a comment here.
Made to Crave Book Study Guidelines
Made to Crave ~ Index to Previous Posts
Made to Crave - Join at anytime. Sign-up here to begin receiving the posts in order, starting with the first one.
Tags: Made to Crave
I have to admit this has been the most trying week that I’ve experienced in a long time and everyday my eating has resulted in starting back at square one. However, I will admit, my committment to this program has come to mind as I had my pity parties in the chip bag-to get past this stumbling block and press in and forward to make the change I know HE wants for me. To crave HIM and not the CHIPS. Lord, give me what I need to make it through this day ALL DAY relying on YOU as my source of strength and not the temporary fix of food. Amen.
Dear Regina,
I love your honesty!
Good for you for coming back to Jesus again and again. For me that is just the rhythm of my life ~ mess up, repent, restoration ~mess up, repent, restoration…
Thankfully, God loves a repentent heart and never keeps track of the number of times that I keep running back to Him.
The only way to really fail is to quit.
“Dear Lord, thank for Regina’s tender heart and desire to crave you above all. I join her in prayer today asking that you will be her strength, her joy, and her sustenance. Each time that temptation hits, please show her clearly the way of escape and bring her joy when she uses it. You really are better than anything this world has to offer. We love You. Amen.”
Kim
Accountability is my weakest area and it is not because I don’t have people I can be accountable to. It is just like you said, “I don’t want someone to talk me out of whatever it is I want to eat”. I need to become accountable. Pray for me
Hi Jackie,
I’ve already started praying… There’s no doubt about it, accountability is a BIG step. Thankfully, He is worth it
Good morning! The packers are at my house and I am very busy. I haven’t done the Chapter 3 questions nor read Chapter 4. I knew things would be crazy for me but I still wanted to be a part of this. So this is me being accountable - I will continue with the reading/questions and allow God to use it to effect change in my life. I’ve been involved in 12 Step groups for many years and I know that accountability has been a major tool for success. Thanks for listening - God bless everyone of you today!
Hi Betsy - good for you for checking in even in the midst of having your house packed up around you. You are my hero! Keep up the good work.
Kim
Wow! Yes! Accountability……I have 7 women I am close to that I email regularly and see plus weigh in 1xmo with my doctor who is also available by email (she is so cool….how many doctors will give you their personal email!?) I told them that my excuses are LIES I TELL MYSELF. I either need to heed the action within the excuse or see it for what it is and not let it in my life! (Ex. excuse of cost….well, then I either find something to get around that obstacle or see the value in the cost….but don’t let that “cost” excuse keep me in inertia!) I have been tolerating my own excuses for so long…..now is the time to no longer tolerate things……I want God to show me more of HIM bc He doesn’t want me to be paralyzed in a world of lies and tolerations. Of course the biggest toleration I have had is tolerating the lack of forgiveness for myself for substituting food for God. I am now including myself in the people I love, care about, and forgive.
Hi Montana Kim,
Wow- God is showing you some amazing glimpses of Himself and His incredible love for you. What a blessing to see you loving and honoring yourself just as He does.
Isn’t He wonderful????
Truly He is……I have been so humbled by what He provides despite my imperfect “helping!” Ha!
Thank you for launching this study - and pushing me to do what I know I should have been doing all along. I had almost gotten back to the right place with my eating when the tornadoes dropped three REAL BIG excuses on my house. Needless to say, I took the out.
I am back now - and being in a position where I am NOT going it alone will help!
Hi Kathryn,
I have to confess, having 3 tornadoes would certainly derail me as well.
It’s wonderful to see that you are back and walking this journey with us!
Ugh, this is the stage of the process that I’m struggling with. I KNOW that accountability is key. It’s finding the person or people to keep me accountable that’s the trick.
Kim, you are brave! Congrats on speaking up.
I mentioned that I have problems with emotional eating to two other women at our last Bible study meeting. That was scary, particularly because one of the women is super thin and very self-disciplined. I am thinking I might ask the other woman, who is also struggling with her weight and might be interested in this study actually, if she would be my accountability person. I need someone to ask me every week or even more often, what I’m doing if it’s working, etc.
My other idea, is launching a blog on nutrition and faith. I went ahead and did this. I thought it would be a great place to share my journey and maybe get some feedback/inspire others.
I’m going to cover healthy recipes, whole foods, faith, self-discipline and exercise/fitness as I train (eventually) for some endurance sport or learn new ways to exercise. I’m calling it “Fiber and Faith.” Once I have some readers, I am hoping that will offer me some further accountability.
Hi Joyous,
I love both of your ideas for accountability ~ asking that one woman from your Bible study AND launching the blog.
My guess is that you will be a real blessing to this other dear sister in Christ and who knows what God will do with the two of your working together.
“Fiber and Faith” - too cute. I hope you will post the link to your blog here so that we can enjoy it with you.
Thank you, Kim! I’m having a lot of fun with the blog. The address is http://www.fiberandfaith.blogspot.com. I’m off to create a new post now!
Love the blog, Joyous. Especially seeing you at the 5K race. That is so awesome. If my poor knees could take it, I’d slip on my tennis shoes and join you
.
Well - It is time for transparency! I have been doing very well this week - going over my scripture cards and running to Jesus when tempted. “Starting” is the most difficult part for me. So I have a couple of weeks of changed behavior…so I am encouraged.
I finally found the courage to ascend the scale this morning. Now I am so discouraged! Why does having a “number” attached to my overeating discourage me so? It does seem so overwhelming and had me crying out, “Jesus, I can’t do this - it is too hard!” Then I remembered the truth of the Gospel - I can’t do this by myself! That is the truth! I have years of experience proving that I can’t do this myself. But Jesus doesn’t ask me to do this by myself. Jesus has given me his Spirit to provide the power for the battle.
So help me remember, Lord Jesus, that I can’t, but you can. You will use this battle to show me your power if I am willing to surrender by desires to you.
Thank you for the reminder. “I can’t, but He can.”
This week I’ve been very busy preparing a presentation. This type of assignment usually has me jumping into the comfort food without restraint. But this time I did my emotional eating but with different choices…fruit instead of candy, granola bars and nuts instead of chips. I’m begining to sense that the accountability of choices is something that God notices. Is it possible that God can be one of our accountability partners?
God is my favorite accountability partner. But for me, I’ve noticed that one of the things He wants me to be accountable for is to include others in my journey closer to Him.
I am a dyed-in-the-wool go it alone kind of gal. Being born and raised in America, I used to think this was a virtue. I was the student in school who hated group projects, thinking I could do it better on my own.
It’s been interesting as I read His word more and more to see that He made us to need Him AND each other.
I’m so glad you are here sharing with us as well as Him. Thanks!
For me, an accountability partner is sharing the journey with me, not critical or pushing, but understanding and supportive, listening, and a good example…when I am up, she may be down, when she is up, she can help me.
By telling people I/we(my husband & I) are on diest, it invites people to ask…”Hows the diet going?” Plus I am accountability partner with my sister-also making life changes to be healthier in body & spirit. Airing all the guilty dirty laundry to the internet or a broad group of peope you then have to live with can be tricky, can set you up for judgement and criticsm, so use carefully and sparingly(my opiion). The sharing of struggles does reaffirm us that we are not alone in this journey-thank you Kim for sharing with us:)
Hi Robin, Your thoughts about being careful who we choose to ‘disclose’ our diets too is right on. At times, when I am out to lunch or dinner with a group and I order healthy food - which they all know is very unusual for me - I find it easier to just mention that I’m trying to eat a bit better versus going into the long explanation. Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to respond in an encouraging way. And this is hard enough without adding the criticism of others. I am so thankful for you and the ladies on this journey with me on the blog, although we may not know each other in person it is wonderful to know I am not alone. God bless you as you stay faithful.
It’s Sunday evening. I’ve been home 48 hours from a 52 hour visit to family a couple of hours away. I’m trying to recover from this visit. It’s not just the eating, it’s all the emotions tied up and just choking me.
As I think about an accountability partner there is no one - no one for me to call right now and spill my heart to. No one who won’t give me a pat answer, try to fix me with some over-simplistic formula…no one who will just listen.
God’s there, but I need some one with skin!
Will you pray with me for that kind of person? And for me to regain the bit of hope I had recovered before this trip, because it’s all gone.
Lucinda, I am in the same boat. I can’t think of a “real life” accountability partner. Just wanted to let you know that I relate and am praying that both of us (and anyone else working on this) finds that special person to hold us lovingly accountable.
PS-Also, just checked out your Etsy shop and am in love with your quilts and pillow covers! So pretty.
“Gracious Heavenly Father - You have made Lucinda in Your image. You created her, you placed her in the family she is in, you have filled her with your spirit and you love her! She is beautiful to you. We are asking you today to hear the heartfelt plea of your daughter for a true Christian friend, someone who loves her enough to encourage her when she is low, embrace her even when she fails and courageously hold her to her commitments even when her faith is weak. As she waits, please become her nearest and dearest friend and show yourself more real to her than those who sit in the very same room. It’s because of Jesus we ask these things. Amen.”
You know what’s great? Feeling the support of prayer from others. Thank you…all of you. For sharing your stories and struggles and victories, too. It’s making a difference to me.
I am blessed to have friends who understand, or at least support me when they may not understand. I am trying to eat very little carbs, basically lean protiens and 1 serving of fruit,and 1 serving of veggies a day. It has helped me in the past and I am doing it again. My friends support that, and the other day I was with them and I ate a bite of my daughters ice cream. They both said “we saw that”. Not in an accusing way, but they understand their part to let me know that maybe that wasn’t a smart choice. Not that one bite is going to hurt me, but what that one bite represents. So I say a special prayer of thanks to my friends today, who helped me in that moment.
Hi Lindsay - I join you in giving thanks for faithful, loving, kind friends. You are blessed, indeed.
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement…I am feeling them even as I read and pray this morning.
I’m reminded of Psalm 121:
I life my eyes to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the maker of heaven and earth.
HE WILL NOT LET YOUR FOOT SLIP - he who watches over you will not slumber…nor sleep.
Accountability has been and is still a struggle with me. I think I want it but I find I chafe under it when I am reminded of my goal or purpose. Because I have been such a yo-yo dieter its almost like I have worn out the ability for anyone to take me serious. My sister and I are working on this but it isn’t there as it should be yet. My commitment is very much with me. Yesterday I went out with some friends for lunch, they ordered something I really love as an appetizer and they noticed I was partaking and keep apologizing for eating in front of me. I assured them I was happy with my choice, could taste the food in my imagination and that was very satisfying! I celebrated the victory with a 64 minute walk!
I need to read my post better before posting, That was suppose to read “I was NOT partaking and kept apologizing”
I knew what you meant
. And Kudos to you for the awesome decisions!!!
I think it will put food in its proper perspective. It is simply fuel for my body. Yes, I can enjoy certain foods but I can also eat in smaller quantities.
I’m learning that I really want to crave God. I don’t want to substitute temporary fixes. Sugar tastes oh so good but it doesn’t last. Blood sugar goes up for a time but it comes crashing down and then all I want is more sugar. If I stay away from sugar, I don’t crave it so much.
I love how Lysa started praying when she had cravings. I know I’d get a lot more praying done if I do this too.
Blessings and love,
Debbie
Amen - this Made to Crave journey has vastly improved my prayer life
The reason for my desire to eat healthier is because I feel so much better and have more energy when I do. Food is placed in its proper perspective as fuel for my body and not a reward or a way to celebrate or feed my sorrows.
I don’t want to use food as a quick fix. I want to run to the Lord and be satisfied in Him alone.
blessings and love,
Debbie
Hi Debbie,
You are so right. I really do feel a lot more energetic now that I’m eating better. It makes me wonder why I don’t eat this way all the time.
Kim
I have a friend as an accountability partner. So what’s the problem? I am making progress and she isn’t. It hard to confess good things and share joy when I know she is not moving forward. How can I be joyfully accountable without hurting her or making her feel guilty? So far I have been able to actually drive by Starbucks without even wanting to stop. That is big for me. Have not had a drink of pop since we started this study - another biggie. I have to count this victories now because I know my hardest times are coming - I teach 8th grade English and school starts in 2 wks. Teachers love to eat out and bring desserts to school.
Hi -
I know exactly what you mean and have been in the same position myself. I’ll be praying that the Lord will show you what to do. Maybe you could even find another teacher at school who might want to share your journey with you.
In the meantime, you can always share your ‘wins’ here. I would love to celebrate with you. And congratulations on the Starbucks drive-by. That is awesome!
Thanks for sharing. Accountability is hard. It means I have to share, admit faults and sins, stop being prideful and independent, ask for help. I don’t mind saying I made a mistake at work, for instance. To admit I eat in secret or on the way home or do anything else in secret feels dangerous. I am boring and maybe I like that little bit of danger. That could be very dangerous. So I will be content with boring and extremely blessed and not seek danger. I will push myself and exercise more and get out of my comfort zone for that. Love this study!
Hi Janine - I am so struck my your comment about eating in secret feeling dangerous. I think at times I have that same thought - like I am kind of getting away with something and isn’t that fun?
Except it isn’t fun if I indulge myself and to my own hurt. Great insight.
Enjoy the extra exercise this week and let me know how it goes.
Kim
I found this blog on Chapter 4 in my junk mail file after spending nearly all day reading Made to Crave! I’m so excited to start this journey, and to find partners who want to grow in their relationship with the Lord and work through this
vicious cycle of defeat! I’m going to a party tonight and I’m fearful that I’ll make some poor choices. And I’m thinking about next weekend’s
dinner party and the following weekend with out-of-town guests. One day at a time, one prayer at a time. I’ve used all the excuses before, and I’ve called on Jesus many times to help me in this area of my life, but I’ve never heard so many of my feelings and experiences expressed the way Lysa did in this book. Please pray with me! Thank you!
Hi Rochelle,
I’m so glad that you are joining us. Welcome.
I understand what you are saying about trying so many times before and yet finding yourself here again. And then I remember grace.
The only way to fail at this is to quit! God knew we would have setbacks and loves us still. Just keep showing up. He’s crazy about you.
Thanks again for coming.